Part 1: Chapter Nine

     Holden ventured to his room and settled in for a nap that would last until five hours after sunrise. Suddenly, he was awoken by the sound of a hand slapping his face. He would have glared menacingly at his assailant, if it were not for his hands being taped across his eyes.

     "Why did you just slap me upside the face, bro? Who are you?"

     "It doesn't matter who we are," said an unmistakable voice. "What matters is our plan."

     "Bane, I should have known it was you," said Holden.

     "You must have seen this coming. You do remember the incident, don't you?" asked the masked villain.

     "Of course I do. It as the One Direction 2589X reunion concert. Zayn reunited with the band after 574X years!"

     "And do you remember what you did?" asked Bane.

     "I remember catching that autographed t-shirt, and I remember you sitting behind me."

     "NO!" shouted Bane, slapping Holden. "NO!" Slap. "No." Slap. "NOOOOOO!" Slap slap. "Harry threw that shirt to me! He looked me in the eyes and threw the shirt directly at me! ME ME ME ME ME ME!" Slap slap slap slap slap slap.

     "Dude, you gots to let that go," replied Holden.

     "No way. Not unless you give me back that shirt."

     Holden considered this. He was wearing his One Direction shirt under his cloths like he always did. He didn't want to give away the shirt, and all of the memories that it held. Then an idea struck him like a bolt of lightning.

     "Okay Bane, you can have your shirt IF you beat me in a magic wrestling match."

     "Hahahahahaha," Bane laughed. "You are a fool for challenging me. I accept."

     Bane cut Holden loose, and our hero finally had a chance to look around. All he saw was darkness above him and the only light seemed to glow from a squishy pink surface beneath them.

     "Where are we?" asked Holden.

     "We're just above the world you know as Future Earth."

     "The world I know?"

     "Yes, Holden," explained Bane. "This might be shocking to you, but we don't actually exist. We are but figments of one super cool man's imagination."

     "What? What are you saying?" asked Holden, tears in his eyes.

     "I'm saying that we are living in the mind of... BERNARD EDMONDS!!!!!"

     "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Holden as he charged at Bane. The villain easily deflected Holden, as he had missed his strike; blinded by rage.

     "Accept it Holden. We are but ideas created by a 9th grade English teacher, living in a reality he created. Perhaps a dream world of some sort."

     "If we aren't real, that means this t-shirt isn't real," said Holden.

     "It is to me," said Bane, a tear rolling down his face. "It is to me..."

     Holden used this moment of weakness to roundhouse kick Bane in the face.

     "Oi! You kicked me in the mask."

     "Dang straight, Bane," laughed Holden. "I knew that this world wasn't real."

     "But, how?" asked Bane.

     "After you knocked me out," explained Holden, "a vision of Edmonds appeared to me. 
     "He said 'Hey Holden, this world might only be a part of my mind, but it's pretty darn cool that you live your life the way you do. Don't let your reality get you down. existimo ergo sum.' 

     "Then I said 'Thanks Nard. It's pretty darn cool that you accept me and allow me to live in this reality.' 

     "Then he said to me 'Yeah, it is.' Then he flew away on an ivory pegasus."

     "That's trippy man," said Bane.

     "Not as trippy as this," said Holden as he ripped off Bane's mask. His face looked just like that guy who played Anakin in Return of the Jedi. You know, at the end, when Darth Vader gets his mask removed.

     "Ouchie mama!" shouted Bane. "Now you're going to get it."

     He grabbed Holden by the neck and lifted him up.

     "Gahhhhck," wheezed Holden.

     "Now tell me exactly where that t-shirt is or else I'll--BLARRRGH," caughed Bane as blood dribbled down his chin. He immediately released Holden, who fell to the squishy brain below.

     "Curse you, Holden Secretbees," whispered Bane as he breathed his last breath. Then he wasn't alive. Holden stood up and got the surprise of his imaginary life. It was Dlanor holding a bloody dagger.

     "Hey Holden," said Dlanor. "It looked like you could use a hand. I realized that, even though some crazy stuff has happened in our past, we should just put it all behind us. What do you say?"

     "I guess."

     "Here you go, Holden," said Dlanor as he pulled out an envelope. "The people from the MME tenement sent this."

     "What is it?" asked Holden.

     "A check for three-hundred and one-half F$."

     Dlanor pulled out a knife and cut open the envelope. He handed the check to Holden.

     "Dlanor, thanks for saving me. I know I killed you a bunch of times."

     "Do you really mean that?" asked Dlanor.

     "Nope. Let the dead bury the dead, Dlanor," Holden replied, quickly pushing Dlanor. He fell to the ground, landing on his knife; dead. Before Holden went back, he looted the corpse of Bane. He found Bane's wallet and removed all of the cash. He dropped the wallet to the ground and was about to leave when he saw a shiny piece of metal roll out. He picked it up; a coin. He examined it to find that both sides featured a heads. He stuffed it in his pocket, and left.


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