Thursday, June 23, 2016

Part 4: Chapter Seven-point-five

     A lot has happened since the first part of this chapter ended. JK, nothing important ever happens. Holden tripped walking out the door. That's about it.

     After Holden cleared the dirt from his mouth, he continued down the road. He didn't have to go far. The Clo-N-E facilities were right down the street. After two hours of slow walking, Holden was able to make it there alive!

     "Knock knock, it's party o' clock!" said Holden as he knocked on the door.

     "Who is it?" said an extra crunchy and all natural voice.

     "Your son!" said Holden, instantly recognizing the voice of the father that he killed two or three times. Holden can never keep track of his murder count, especially among his close family members.

     "My son?" asked GWC as he opened the door. "You're Julia's boy? She never told me tha--"

     "Ewwww, gross! No, I'm Cleopatra's son," said Holden.

     "Wait, that's in the future. Accio memories!"

     "Where am I?" asked George Washington Carver.

     "Ummmmm, I'm the factory inspector. I'm here to, uhhhh..."

     "Inspect the factory?" asked GWC.

     "Yeah, that's it! Hey, maybe you should be the factory inspector. Hahahaha!" Holden laughed as he let himself inside the factory.

     "Wait, you can't just come in."

     "Whatevs, old guy. I'm going to inspect the machines. Perhaps a refrigerator or an Age Decompiler."

     "I don't know what you're talking about!" shouted GWC.

     "Cut the crap, Georgey. I know what's going on here. I bet the Age Decompiler is right behind this door!" said Holden as he reached for the door knob.

     "No, don't!" yelled GWC.

     "I know what's behind this door!"

     "You probably don't!"

     Holden opened the door and was greeted by the site of a naked lady, but, like, PG-13 naked, so furniture and convenient camera angles blocked all of the inappropriate parts.

     "What the hill?!" yelled Holden.

     "Amanda, what are you still doing here?" asked GWC.

     "I just woke up. I was so tired after all of the--"

     "Shhhh," hushed George Washington Carver. "Just get out of here. I'll call you later."

     "Maybe I'll answer the phone. It's kind of hard to hear now because my ear is still sore from when you stuck your--"

     "AMANDA! GET OUT!" screamed GWC.

     Amanda collected her things and hurried out the door.

     "What kind of factory is this?" asked Holden.

     "My peanut factory where I make all of your wildest peanut dreams come true!"

     "I thought this was a cloning facility!"

     "Yes, a cloning facility for peanuts! Do you know how long it takes to grow peanuts?"

     "Well then, why are there naked women everywhere?" asked Holden.

     "Not everywhere," said GWC.

     "Hey George, where'd you put my underwear?" asked a female voice from another room.

     "Okay," said GWC, "they're everywhere."

     "What did you say?" asked the woman. "I'm having trouble hearing--"

     "JUST GET OUT!" George screamed.

     "What the heck are you putting in their ears?" asked Holden, confuzzled.

     "It doesn't matter," said GWC. "How about you just get out of here."

     "Well, how about you just give me the Age Decompiler piece and we can call it a day."

     "Fine, I left it in my house next door. Follow me."

     "Attention factory employees and naked women," a voice over the loudspeaker announced. "Cloning of Subject Dark Jed H is now done. Please prepare for shipping to client M."

     "Dark Jed H for client M?" wondered Holden. "Maybe H stands for--Hottie Boombalottie!" screamed Holden as another babe walked into the hallway.

     After about five minutes they reached GWC's house.

     "I'm pretty sure it's in the basement," said GWC as he opened the basement door.

     "I don't need your help!" Holden screamed and ran for the door.

     "No, wait Holden. It's really dark down there." GWC stepped in front of the doorway and put his arms out to block Holden's way, but Holden charged him and threw him down the stairs.

     "What was that, Georgey? I didn't hear you over the sound of your skull beating against the stairs," said Holden as he ran down the stairs. When he got to the bottom GWC was nowhere to be found. Holden turned around just in time to see the stairs disappear in a flash of green. "They were future stairs!" he realized. "So that's how that happened."

     Holden took out his wand and lit up the basement. The place was filthy. It was filled with bags upon bags of peanuts, but tossed onto the top of one bag was what he was looking for; the Age Decompiler.

     Holden ran to grab the final piece of the device, but was tripped as a large tentacle wrapped around his ankle, causing him to land directly on top of the device. There was a crushing sound, and Holden looked down to see the pieces of the Age Decompiler broken down into even more irreparable bits.

     "NO!!!" Holden screamed. He held the pieces in his hands, feeling tears come to his eyes as the world around him melted away.

     "Holden, what have you done?" asked GWC, appearing before him in lion form.

     "Dad! What do I do now?"

     "You've broken time, Holden. Not much can be done. You need another Age Decompiler or you'll never be able to get back to the future and save it again later on. Even worse, some tentacle thing is wrapped around your leg. Seriously, what is that? It's all slimy and gross."

     "You tell me, it as in your basement."

     "So, that's where he went."

     "Wait, what!?" asked a confused Holden.

     "Holden, I was contracted to work on Dark Jed cloning, but one of our experiments escaped. You're running out of time, so I can't explain more. The best I can do is open a portal to directly before you smashed the Age Decompiler. Good luck."

     "I don't need luck. I'm cool."

     "Holden, that makes absolutely no--"

     "SHUT IT, FATTY!"

     "Whatever you ungrateful little..." GWC's voice faded away as Holden was sucked through a portal and was suddenly looking down at himself. Quickly, he grabbed the Age Deompiler and pulled.

     "I'm not going to lose this time!" Holden shouted yanked the Age Decompiler from his past self's hands. Everything vanished from around him and he was suddenly blinded by a bright light. His past self vanished and Holden fell from the portal. The portal closed behind him, but not before it cut of his hand, returning it to the way it had been before this whole side time travel adventure. Convenient huh?

     "Hey Cleopatra. What took you so long to get back here?" asked Holden, who was annoyed waiting for her even though she had arrived first.

     "Oh, I took a detour. I met the cool guy George and hung out with him for a while. He was into some weird ear stuff."

     "What? Okay, anyway, let's make base. We, I mean you, have work to do."

     "You got it, Holden!" said Cleopatra as they jiggled toward a cave.

     

     So that, my friends, is exactly what happened. Sort of anticlimactic without a real plot. But that's just my life. Anyway, if you're a hot babe on Mercution-ury, why don't you come up to my tower and give me a smooch. Or even if you're just an average babe. Or really, if anyone wants to come unfreeze me, that would be pretty hot. I'll give you five dollars. JK, I don't have that kind of money.


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