"Where the flippity-do-da-e-i-e-i-ü-o am I? I mean, oh no! GIANT SQUARES!"
"No you idiot, those are not giant squares," said a calm women's voice.
"Wait, who said that? And hey! I'm not the idiot, you are! Loser :("
"Please, don't speak. I fear for the health of my brain."
"Lol, what? Speak Future English lady! Ever heard of it?"
"Holden, we don't have time for this! You are about to hit the pyramid."
"The what? I don't see any giant triangles anywhere. Stupid lady."
"Ugh! I mean the giant square! FART HOLDEN!"
Holden farted just as he was about to hit the pyramid. He launched towards the desert sand, just missing the pyramid.
"WAIT HOLDEN! WATCH OUT FOR--"
Holden landed, though not on sand as he had expected. He laned on a young boy at the head of a procession.
"King Tut! King Tut, are you alright?!"
Holden was picket up by a large man and pulled away.
"Sir, you're bleeding. NO NO! Don't get up! Let me carry you."
Oh, calm down. It's not like it will kill me or anything!" (ba-dum, tss) said the king as Holden's vision faded.
"Holden, wake up. HOLDEN!" a jiggly voice shouted. It was the same voice that had spoken to Holden as he fell. "Holden, can you hear me?"
"Let me try. HOLDEN! It's me, Dlanor! Are you even alive"
Holden's hand shot out and grabbed for Dlanor, but before reaching him Holden stopped and opened his eyes.
"Oh, thank goodness you're okay!" exclaimed the perky woman. "And it's all thanks to Dlanor here. Without him, I may have never gotten the materials necessary to summon you here with my sorcery."
"Yeah yeah, that's great. Now, who are you exactly and where's that stupid king who was walking on my falling spot?"
"Holden, that was King Tut. You broke his leg and killed him long ago. They mummified you alive as punishment, but not before I cast a spell on you from our time to keep your soul and body preserved. I know it's confusing, but that's what happens when you dabble in time travel. Anyway, I'm Cleopatra and this is my son Dlanor."
"HAHAHAHAHahahahhahahahahhahaooohaohahahiahohi ehehoooo!" Holden laughed uncontrollably. "DLANOR IS YOUR SON! HAHAHA, THAT MUST SUCK!"
"Mom, you need to come look at this vision pool! I'm seeing some sort of glowing metal in the underworld. It's just near the cliffs of Point-of-Despair and No-Return.
Cleopatra turned and walked over to Dlanor, but as she walked Holden remembered something.
"That back," he muttered to himself as memories of his childhood flashed before his eyes. Memories of his father and this woman in a field.
"NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo!" Holden screamed.
"Holden, what's wrong!?" Cleopatra ran over to him, but Holden was now sobbing uncontrollably. "Holden, you NEED to calm down. Tell me!"
"YOU KNOW! George Washington Carver is my dad!"
"I see... Holden, I... I'm sorry. I get it now. I split up your family--"
"THAT'S NOT IT! YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? YOU NEVER WILL!" Holden screamed, tears streaming down his face. "YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, KNOW MY PAIN!" Holden sniffled. "I mean, does Dlanor have to be my brother? Seriously, c'mon!" Holden was shaking, and he felt his knees buckle. He saw Dlanor and Cleopatra run for him before his eyes shut and his last breath of air escaped his lungs.
When Holden opened his eyes, he was surrounded by fire, brimstone, and Netherrack.
"Where the flip am I?" he asked, looking around.
Holden was standing to the side of a road that stretched far into the distance toward a giant canyon, beneath which flowed a river of lava. He began walking along the road until he reached a branching path with a sign and a convenient map.
"Cool," Holden read. "Let's see now... 'You are hear'. So, taking the left path brings you to 'the secret level' and the right path goes to 'The Cliffs of Point-of-Despair and No-Return'... WAIT A MINUTE!" Holden recalled Dlanor saying that a piece of glowing metal was located on those cliffs. He knew it must be the Age Decompiler. Holden set off for the cliffs at a steady pace, whistling and singing all the way. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the cliffs of Point-of-Despair and No-Return I go. Hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho."
Holden reached the top of one of the cliffs and saw a sign which read Point-of-Despair, along with an old rotting bridge that connected this bridge to it's brother No Return. Then, Holden noticed the Age Decompiler on the other cliff. He readied himself to fly over the gap instead of using the old bridge, but then remembered an old rhyme his mother had told him.
Future sticks and future stones may break your bones, but farting in the underworld will turn you into fried Holden...
"Maybe I should walk instead," Holden said, stepping across the bridge. He walked to the Age Decompiler piece, but, just before grabbing it, the cliff crumbled beneath his feet. Holden and the Age Decompiler plummeted towards a hot, melty death.
"HOLDEN!" A portal appeared above Holden, and he could see Dlanor and Cleopatra looking down at him. Cleopatra jumped and caught the Age Decompiler piece with a pair of chrome colored gloves. Dlanor reached for Holden's hand and pulled it up to the edge of the portal, allowing him to hold on for his life. Dlanor then reached for Cleopatra, but she had already fallen too far.
"I can't reach her!" Dlanor shouted. He jumped through the portal and grabbed Holden of Cleopatra in one hand, Holden in the other.
"Dlanor!" Cleopatra exclaimed.
"Holden, pull us up!" Dlanor shouted as Cleopatra tossed the Age Decompiler up through the portal. However, neither Dlanor nor Cleopatra noticed the future snake, stamped with the emblem of the evil alien army, slither out of the Age Decompiler on onto Cleopatra's arm.
"Cleopatra! Don't let the snake bite you! It's a future snake, and it will send you through time!" Holden shouted. However, his warning was far too late. The snake sunk its teeth into Cleopatra's arm and she vanished in an instant.``
"MOM!" Dlanor screamed. "Where is she?!"
"THE FUTURE!" Holden yelled and, with a smile, he let go of Dlanor's hand.
Holden pulled himself up through the portal and grabbed hold of the Age Decompiler piece. "Here I go again," he said.
Return Home
"NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo!" Holden screamed.
"Holden, what's wrong!?" Cleopatra ran over to him, but Holden was now sobbing uncontrollably. "Holden, you NEED to calm down. Tell me!"
"YOU KNOW! George Washington Carver is my dad!"
"I see... Holden, I... I'm sorry. I get it now. I split up your family--"
"THAT'S NOT IT! YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? YOU NEVER WILL!" Holden screamed, tears streaming down his face. "YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, KNOW MY PAIN!" Holden sniffled. "I mean, does Dlanor have to be my brother? Seriously, c'mon!" Holden was shaking, and he felt his knees buckle. He saw Dlanor and Cleopatra run for him before his eyes shut and his last breath of air escaped his lungs.
When Holden opened his eyes, he was surrounded by fire, brimstone, and Netherrack.
"Where the flip am I?" he asked, looking around.
Holden was standing to the side of a road that stretched far into the distance toward a giant canyon, beneath which flowed a river of lava. He began walking along the road until he reached a branching path with a sign and a convenient map.
"Cool," Holden read. "Let's see now... 'You are hear'. So, taking the left path brings you to 'the secret level' and the right path goes to 'The Cliffs of Point-of-Despair and No-Return'... WAIT A MINUTE!" Holden recalled Dlanor saying that a piece of glowing metal was located on those cliffs. He knew it must be the Age Decompiler. Holden set off for the cliffs at a steady pace, whistling and singing all the way. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the cliffs of Point-of-Despair and No-Return I go. Hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho."
Holden reached the top of one of the cliffs and saw a sign which read Point-of-Despair, along with an old rotting bridge that connected this bridge to it's brother No Return. Then, Holden noticed the Age Decompiler on the other cliff. He readied himself to fly over the gap instead of using the old bridge, but then remembered an old rhyme his mother had told him.
Future sticks and future stones may break your bones, but farting in the underworld will turn you into fried Holden...
"Maybe I should walk instead," Holden said, stepping across the bridge. He walked to the Age Decompiler piece, but, just before grabbing it, the cliff crumbled beneath his feet. Holden and the Age Decompiler plummeted towards a hot, melty death.
"HOLDEN!" A portal appeared above Holden, and he could see Dlanor and Cleopatra looking down at him. Cleopatra jumped and caught the Age Decompiler piece with a pair of chrome colored gloves. Dlanor reached for Holden's hand and pulled it up to the edge of the portal, allowing him to hold on for his life. Dlanor then reached for Cleopatra, but she had already fallen too far.
"I can't reach her!" Dlanor shouted. He jumped through the portal and grabbed Holden of Cleopatra in one hand, Holden in the other.
"Dlanor!" Cleopatra exclaimed.
"Holden, pull us up!" Dlanor shouted as Cleopatra tossed the Age Decompiler up through the portal. However, neither Dlanor nor Cleopatra noticed the future snake, stamped with the emblem of the evil alien army, slither out of the Age Decompiler on onto Cleopatra's arm.
"Cleopatra! Don't let the snake bite you! It's a future snake, and it will send you through time!" Holden shouted. However, his warning was far too late. The snake sunk its teeth into Cleopatra's arm and she vanished in an instant.``
"MOM!" Dlanor screamed. "Where is she?!"
"THE FUTURE!" Holden yelled and, with a smile, he let go of Dlanor's hand.
Holden pulled himself up through the portal and grabbed hold of the Age Decompiler piece. "Here I go again," he said.
Return Home
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